Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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