@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
