she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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