She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have aggressive nipples.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize