69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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