Christians are straight up FREAKS
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize