everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
