i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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