Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
