I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
where am i from again
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
