porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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