I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
