where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
