I must be too annoying 4 u.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
