Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
