You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
