she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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