Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
