Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
