is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
