"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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