how can u be prego again
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
