I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Damn victory sex feels great
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
