Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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