I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
