There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
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