you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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