Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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