btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
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Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
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I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
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