they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
