Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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