I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
