He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
