there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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