3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
