so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize