I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
