just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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