dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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