If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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