I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
