and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
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Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
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pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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