Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
