I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize