I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
