I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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