he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
