So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
God I need to hump something, right now.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
