You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
should my penis look like a turkey
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
