I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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