p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
