I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Jerry, you need to find god
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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