If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
