well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
send nudes
from the living room?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
