so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
