You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
That accounts for only three of the penises
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
