I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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