Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
