He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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