And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
